The Legend of South Park: Crossed Swords and Battered Sticks
by TheChargingRhino
Summary: It has been two weeks since the events of SoT, and when a strange golden light appears over South Park one night, everything is changed. Manbearpig is back and has created an massive army that no one can stop...Save for one man. Join Eric, Butters, and everyone else as they team up with the warrior known as Link to take down Manbearpig and save both Hyrule and South Park. Rated T.


**DISCLAIMER: This takes place after The Stick of Truth, yet before Fractured but Whole. The quality of this story might not be good, but South Park isn't animated fully, so I have to compensate. I shall follow this up with a sequel that happens after FbW.** **Enjoy the novel.**

* * *

 _ **In the legends passed down through time and space, there has always been a battle between good, and evil. Ever since Princess Kenny's plans to join the Bad Government Guy were thwarted by "the new kid", things in South Park have been more or less, 'normal'. But yet, there has been word that, somehow, Manbearpig has returned, and that the beast has somehow created a massive army of various creatures, none the like we've ever seen!**_

 _ **Plus, there are rumors that some sort of golden light appeared over South Park, and the light entered the sewers. Whatever this light was, no one knows. But yet...I feel as if the return of Manbearpig, and this golden light, are somehow connected...But in what way...**_

* * *

 **South Park**

 **The Sewers**

Mr. Hankey, the infamous Christmas Poo, was asleep when something huge shook his house. To his surprise, no one else had woken up, so the good mannered piece of feces left his house to investigate. A few feet away from his front door was a prone figure lying on the ground.

"How-dey-ho!", he called out in his infamous greeting, but the figure didn't respond. After a few seconds, they stirred and lifted their head a bit, then of course stared at Hankey.

"...You...I...My vision's not messed up, is it?"

"If you mean that I'm literally a walking, talking piece of shit, then yes."

The kid lowered his head and muttered something about "Dreaming".

"Nope. You're not dreaming."

Mr. Hankey went back inside his house and came back with a (for his size) huge folded up piece of paper.

"It's too dangerous to wander around here alone, take this."

As the teen obviously fought with his mind and then reached out to take the folded up paper, Hankey continued.

"It's a map of the surrounding area. You're going to want to go up to the surface, of course, so just head straight. Should be a manhole...Hopefully it's not bolted down..."

The kid had unfolded the map and was looking at it with the help of the lights overhead.

"Anyway, I should go back to my house. See ya!"

Hankey began to walk back to his house as the stranger got to his feet and got a look at his surroundings.

He then shook his head, put the map in his pocket, then began to walk towards the ladder that led to the manhole.

* * *

 **Meanwhile...**

Eric, Butters, Stan, and Kyle were standing near an open manhole, talking about a golden light Butters had seen the previous night.

"Dude! They said a golden light showed up last night!"

Eric gazed at Butters.

"...A golden light?"

Butters nodded.

"Yeah! Like...It flashed for a second and then was gone."

"Did you _see_ it?"

"No…"

"Then how do you know it actually happened?"

Butters glared at Eric.

"Because I said so, okay?"

While the four were arguing, a nearby manhole began to rattle, as if someone or something was trying to open it on the other side.

"Guys!"

Eric whirled around and began to yell at Butters.

" _What_? Can't you see we're having an argument here?!"

The manhole flew upwards with a bang and landed on a car a few feet away, causing the alarm to go off.

Not even a second later, a hand appeared and then held onto the side of the now open manhole, then another hand.

"What."

Then a guy's head appeared from the hole and the guy blinked a few times, then looked up towards Eric and the others.

"Is that...a _teenager_?"

"Yeah. But why was he down there for?"

A angry guy ran over.

"Hey...Some asshole threw a manhole cover and it hit my car."

"Sucks to be you."

The guy then looked down. "So it was _you_ who destroyed my car!"

In answer, the guy that had come up from the sewers reached into his pocket and handed the angry guy something.

"...It's just a blank piece of paper."

"No it's not." The guy had something like an English accent.

"Yes it is. See?" The angry guy handed the blank paper back to the guy in the manhole and the manhole-dude sighed.

"...Damn...That didn't work…"

The guy then freed himself from the manhole and twisted his head around as he took in where he was.

"Tell you what."

The blonde-head reached into his pocket and pulled out what appeared to be gemstones. He then handed a few to the angry guy and put the rest back in his pocket.

"...Are...Are these real?!"

The guy nodded. "Sure are. Go on."

The angry guy was not angry anymore and he ran off.

"So...Who the hell are you?"

The teen turned to face Eric and the others and looked down at them.

"Me?"

Eric nodded. "Yeah! Who else, dipshit, the sky?"

The teen rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

"I've been called worse...Anyway...Where am I?"

"That's not getting answered until you tell us who you are!"

"And why you have elf ears!" Butters said from the back.

The teen must have gotten whiplash he moved his head so fast to stare at the boys.

"...Elf ears?" He repeated.

He then threw his hands up in the air. "Gods, why does EVERYONE think that I'm an elf?!"

Eric and the others glanced at each other, then back to the teen.

"Maybe it's because you _do_ have elf ears?" Stan pointed out.

Then teen buried his face in his hands for a few seconds and then sighed, then removed his face from his hands.

"First off, I am _not_ an elf, I'm a Hylian. Second off, my name's Link. Questions?"

"..A...Hy... _what_?"

"Hylian." The teen now known as Link deadpanned as he looked around him again. "So, where am I?"

"South Park, Colorado, my friend." Butters stated as he began to walk around Link.

"...What are you doing?"

"Just wondering why you're wearing these clothes. That's all."

Link gave Butters a look and the boy went back to Eric and the others.

Link got to a one kneed position so he was more or less eye level with the boys.

"Well, I'm not from here."

"We know that."

"No. I'm not from _here_."

"Different state?"

"No."

"Different region."

"No."

"...Uh...Different country?"

"No."

"...Continent...?"

"No."

Butters gasped. "You're an alien!?"

Eric rounded on him. "Butters!"

"It's fine."

"Really?"

Link nodded. "Yeah. Really, it's fine. Anyway, I have no idea how I even got here...Do you have any idea?"

Butters nodded. "I saw a golden light last night. Maybe that was you!"

"...A golden light...hmmmm...Could be..."

Link got up and turned around and began to walk off, then stopped.

"Uh.."

He turned back to face Eric. "Is...there somewhere I can stay...? Just for tonight...?"

The four looked at each other, then back to Link.

Butters stepped forwards. "We have a couch. If you want to crash there..."

"That'd be great. Mind you, it's just until I can...uh...find somewhere else...If I can..."

And so, Butters set off towards his house, the teenager falling in close by. Eric, Stan, and Kyle went home for the night.

Meanwhile, out in the Lost Forest, there came a strange blueish flash of light, then it was gone.

And further still, out in the Forest, came a savage growl, and the sound of hoof-beats...


End file.
